you

Anyway i left all that out and i kept it simple. I told them i loved you, and thats the truth.

Hot and burned

Looking at my water bottle, thoughts was so distant that i didnt realize im holding a hot water bottle. The mind wanders to how this life is going to be from now.

Tried and tested, it will always seem as a dream, something that seems real but was just fabrication of my mind.

How are you feeling today?

How i met your mother

Its been awhile since i’ve been writing something. The latest episodes of how i met your mother really struck me to how one can really hold on after so long? Ted is one of the character that i would like to meet in real life as i can totally relate to what he feels about his situation. Robin shouldn’t have done what she did to Ted but as her friend, he always did what nobody would have done for her, which was really impressive. Watching throughout the 7 seasons, it have been so tough for Ted and Barney, they really taught me a couple of things that i guess i can relate to.

Love is really a thing you cant control, no matter how hard you try, in the end it is up to the other party to determine your love. To love is easy, to be loved is everything. What i saw in Ted today makes me feel angry, after all those time, and he does seem strong physically but inside he is a mess. Few will be close enough to realize that and only his best friend realize what was going on. We are creatures that count of sharing for survival, what you keep inside will consume you alive, share with anyone important. So who am i to count on to know me that deep inside?

Reality or fiction, there are the stories written by humans, and if feelings existed, it should be kept alive as without feelings, we are nothing more than an enclose space, walking on this forsaken earth. To those who watch that episode, and are in a similar situation, i wish you good luck and i know you and i are not that lucky in this world, but things will change i hope? Important thing is to have the people close to us that accompany us through this life. What else could be more important than the journey itself with the ones we love or will love? :) <3

happy

You seems to be happier now than before in this house. Laughing and smiling, relationship with them seems to be good for you. I guess thats also something i could not do.

In many ways i want to express myself but it seems so impossible! Guess we did not have any chemistry together eh?

It is going to be the end of the two years we are in this house. What have come out in the end is this. Might you be happier from now onwards, that i will be glad i suppose?

What seems to be you standing there now just seems to be a ghost of my past. I can see it but can never grab hold of or interact with it again. :(

nothing

I'm still in love but all I heard was nothing

She said nothing
Oh, I wanted words but all I heard was nothing
Oh, I got nothing
I got nothing
I wanted words but all I heard was nothing
Ohh I got nothing

how well are we?

After all those times, this is how we ended up. Strangers with boundaries, feels more than a stranger than the day i first met you. Nothing what people say is what it seems it will be.

Once the closest thing in life, now the furthest thing apart in life :(

So this is how it is going to be from now onwards?

I have regrets in life, but would i have did it any different? Probably not. Naive i am.

'Cause we lost it all
Nothin' lasts forever
I'm sorry I can't be perfect
Now it's just too late
And we can't go back
I'm sorry I can't be perfect

I try not to think
About the pain I feel inside
Did you know you used to be my hero?
All the days you spent with me
Now seem so far away
And it feels like you don't care any more
And now I try hard to make it
I just want to make you proud
I'm never gonna be good enough for you
I can't stand another fight
And nothing's all right

:(

unimportant

I have been waiting untill this moment. I guess it seems that unimportant to you till you have really forgotten. Its ok, nothing i can do anyway :)

why do i care?

Karma, you remember that? It always, it always finds a way to get back to you. What you did will be done upon yourself. Think and try to not to. Karma can be a life saver but it also can be a bitch. You think you can get away with what you did, but there are others who will do to you what you did to someone else.

Good deeds will rarely be remembered, but bad deeds will echo in to eternity. People will remember who you are and what you did. You think a simple hi, how are you?, short conversation will work out for you? I dont think so. You had your chance. I am breaking free from this.

worth or not?

Rm3099 for this! Colours not as nice as expected. Maybe because of the lighting. Would you have one?

In your arms?

You are the most beautiful thing I've ever seen in my entire life
You are the most beautiful thing these eyes have seen

I met you at St. John's Cathedral down on Amsterdam
Made a trade with the devil and he gave me your hand
We both know this castles' made of sand
Close your eyes and fall asleep again

I will fall asleep here in your arms
Every breath that you take breaks my heart

I built us this boat so we both could sail far, far away
It sprung a leak inside the captain forgot to say
"That love is made of treading water and hearts of clay"
I had no idea, I had no idea, that we would die today .


Amazing song from an amazing band. You trully are the most beautiful thing i've ever seen in my life. As it all goes this way, i would never have wanted us to die today :( where would we go i would never know. As dreams will remain dreams. But as high as humans dream of flying, there are who ventured into space. Are we all fools for our quests? Or are we just puppets in life's long journey?

Where it ends, it tore a hole inside me. A empty space void of all emotions. Will it ever come back? I may have to see the world in a different perspective now. Trust. Love. Live.

the best of you?

I've got another confession to make
I'm your fool
Everyone's got their chains to break
Holdin' you

Were you born to resist or be abused?
Is someone getting the best, the best, the best, the best of you?
Is someone getting the best, the best, the best, the best of you?

Candylicious

Would someone bring me here? I want to bath myself in all of these!

The wind blows

I've got to breathe
You can't take that from me
Cause it's all that you left that's mine
You had to leave
And that's all i can see
But you told me your love was blind...

There was a day
You threw our love away
Then you passed it to someone new
You wanna stay
But since you wanna play
We can finally say we're through

I'll leave when the wind blows
Take a breath and there it goes
I'll be outside of your window
I'll pass by but i'll go slow
I'll leave when the wind blows..

As i lay in solitude, oh what's a boy suppose to do?
I shake the very thought of you, me together I remember
Late nights when I stayed up late all I do is wait and wait
You're never coming home to me, that's the hardest thing to see.. :'(

After so long, i found this song again. Makes me wonder. :(

Not forgetting is the key.

So i guess you did notice that in what i've said. But eventually you will forget your promise. Life is like that, you think you can have better but you let go of whats more important in your life. How it feels like to achieve something in life but you loss something else in return? What is the point in that?

So much for you

We are all kids in this world. You only have so much time to live, fight like you never fight before, eat like you never eaten before, dream like you never dream before, but most important is to love like you never love before.

What is in your heart that makes who you are. Little pieces of our lives, put together right in front of you to choose. There are so many who are lost out there. We look upon what society see as the perfect life but who are they to judge who and what we do.

I once though about this. "You can never make the same mistake twice, the second time you make it, it is no longer a mistake, its a choice." What are words if they are just empty shell of a container with no meaning. I was blinded with empty words given to me.

You got away from me.

In another life
I would make you stay
So I don't have to say
You were the one that got away

Maybe in another time and place, things would have been different. There is so many things i wanted to do with you, yet it forever remains just out of reach. Those magical words that may never become a reality, you were the one that got away. :(

I will always love you even though you will not feel the same way. :( What is in my heart will make me who i am.

Chicago Rib House

Went to 1U the day before i went back with friends to walk around but we had no time so we just ate dinner and left. We ate at Chicago rib house, its newly open several months ago. (sorry for the average pictures, my Nikon was not with me)

Soup of the day : Chicken noodle soup. Easily one of the best western chicken soup i've tasted. Sweet and taste like chicken, haha. Perfect combination of flavor. Its a good sign to start the meal right?

Sample platter : Comes with Chilli con carne(shame on you if you havent eaten chili con carne before), baked potato skin, buffalo wings and some tortilla chips with sour cream and another creamy milky dip. Oh the sour cream is perfect. Boy i wish i can do sour cream like they do.


The chili con carne is good, pork meat with cheese and spices can never go wrong, i would come back for this. Baked potato skin was good too, topped with cheese, bacon bits and spring onions. Oh and the buffalo wings gives a kick, the flavor is quite intense, i enjoyed it.

The main course is of course the pork ribs. We had the combo with pork tenderloin with apple puree and raisin base. We took the flaming kansas city sauce, which is whisky poured on the ribs and set aflame to burn. Nice smokey flavor i would say, ribs is nice and tender but eat quick. The ribs is best eaten hot. The two sides we took were the baked potato and coleslaw. The baked potato was on the average side, lack of salt i would say but the coleslaw was amazing, sweet and crunchy. Perfect.

The food we ate that day. Seems abit but i could not finish because lack of appetite, but at least i tried to eat! :)

Oh look at the ice water glass, its HUGE, i did not need to get a refill at all. Recommended place to be.

Overall its a good experience, but it would have been great if YOU were there :( ah too bad things have to be this way :( Sad is an understatement. *tears*

Without you.

Was eating dinner when i heard this. Hilang la appetite. Sobs.





Along comes a baby girl
And suddenly my little world
Just got a whole lot bigger, yes it did
And people that I barely knew
They love me cause I'm part of you
Man it's tough to figure

Without you I'd survive
But I'd have to have the notion
That I could live this life
Just going through the motions

II'll sing my song

Bring me a higher love
Bring me a higher love, oh
Bring me a higher love
I could rise above on a higher love

I will wait for it, I'm not too late for it
Until then, I'll sing my song
To cheer the night along

I could light the night up with my soul on fire
I could make the sun shine from pure desire
Let me feel that love come over me
Let me feel how strong it could be <3